Leah, I think you (as usual) nailed it: "I will forever sing the praises of CPAP therapy because it has given me a life back." It has given you A life back, just not YOURS.

I am so much better than I was before, but I still have so much further to go. Part of it is that I am not 20 anymore (or 30 or 35 or 40 or 45...) and I have to realize that I am limited more than I was before. That doesn't mean I give up, but it does mean that to be pissed that I'm not 20 anymore is not productive.

I had one semi-suffocating dream when I was off therapy because my machine croaked. If nothing else, the BiPAP prevents those. It's funny because I find them more frustrating than scary - but it's still not a good thing. My new machine is loud as heck and I sound like Darth Vader. Oh well...

L:"I don’t mean to bitch here and maybe this is the appropriate place to bitch. <shrug> "
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As far as I am concerned, yes. I am this is a place where people can vent their frustrations about living with apnea. :)
Its nice having people around who can comprehend, from experience, what I might be talking about in regards.
MC

Leah, to your point is it a disability, my answer is yes. And, I am currently in a legal battle with Cigna’s Long Term Disability over it. Before I was diagnosed with OSA, I had a rash of health issues including what my doctors thought was depression. I swear the meds made all my other problems worse. I am not knocking them for people who are suffering from metal health issues. My son suffers from bouts of manic depression and without them, well I don’t want to think about that.

I saw lots of doctors; all missing the OSA, and it was a psychiatrist who diagnosed the OSA within 5 minutes of my visit. At that time I was missing lots of work; so I went on Short Term Medical Leave. Hell, I paid for that insurance, why not take it. However, my company gave me a rash of sh!t. The kept tell me if I don’t return to work, I was going to lose my job, despite my doctor’s supporting the leave.

So, I was force to hired an attorney and they backed off. He then handled, my long term disability, but last August, my two years were up and now he is trying to get me reinstated. Basically, all my doctors have told Cigna that I am not in any shape to hold down a full time job, much less my engineering job I had before the leave.

Between my Neurophychiatrist and my Pulmonary Doctor’s testimony, my attorney feels we have a strong case to show that this is a disability. Sleep deprivation, a side effect of OSA, is serious and it can cause other serious health issues, including Type 2 Diabetes, heart desease and stroke if not treated properly.

D:"here will be the same list of inane activities (like work) that are necessary for survival, and no time to do anything really fulfilling or pleasurable."
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The bane of typical human existence. :(

I wish I could offer a formula for where there was a direct correlation between time spent, level of intelligence and monetary compensation. But I have found that while patterns seem to exist to some extent, there is enough randomness to say, simply, life is not nearly always fair. My life has been reduced to a typical baseline sense of a lack of fulfillment, resulting disappointment marked by occasions of joy and the occasional epiphany. I appreciate the rare moments of transcendence, but will never buy the argument that the human condition, with all of its hardship, is justified by those moments. I do, nevertheless, value those moments.


D: "The need for sleep - and my inability to get it - has basically ruined my life. "
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Honestly, I am someone who took pleasure i knowing my lack of hours devoted to sleep were translated into productivity into the wee hours. Over the years, I have to admit, it all really has had a huge negative impact on my quality of life - particularly when I am with anyone other than myself.

You bring up a good point - can't say sleep itself is enjoyable (particularly with apnea in the mix). I do miss feeling pretty clear and revived after getting up in the morning. Can't say I used to wake up typically bright eyed - I am hardly the morning person. But after the usual creaking and groaning, I do remember feeling the lack of fatigue - the fatigue that just won't go away anymore. I think I vaguely recall a time when my waking hours were more productive. Or was it a dream?

More power to you, Dean.
MC