Darla!

Whats up?

1. My prognosis still good but a bit lowered since initial diagnosis due to possible small nodule outside the main thyroid capsule. Statistically, it presents greater risk - moved from %90 to %80. Talking to several doctors - cause for concern but in their experience, the vast majority recover even from pulmonary metastasis (even spread to lung). Mine seems localized. They really do not want me to stress too much.

2. At last check, they thought it had spread to my left side of neck lymph areas considerably. This does not change prognosis but does affect the nature of the surgery. Strange form of cancer in it, spread to neck lymph nodes does not lower prognosis - just raises possibility of recurrence. As a non-aggresive cancer, recurrence (given it is monitored and treated) does not directly affect survivability.

But, because i had a root canal done that same week, yesterday's ultrasound showed all but one area was no longer swollen on my left side. She biopsied one lymph node because it was still swollen, and biopsied one more that she is fairly sure is ok but just in case. This is really for the surgeon and does not change staging.

3. Doctor said nothing indicates any widspread or aggresive metastatis. Just local. The only thing that lowered my prog is the fact there might be a nodule that moved just outside the main body.

4. Next wed, I have my consult with the surgeon. From all indications from several doctor friends, he is the best in the region - Chief of Head Neck surgery at Loma Linda University. He is very cautious, patient and very thorough.

Next wed he might schedule my surgery or order scans. Not sure. But I finally meet with my surgeon and I don't see my Endocrinologist until 4 weeks after surgery. She is cool but I am afraid everytime I visit something else might rear its head. Its all a head thing. She is really cool.

5. After surgery, I have a few cycles of radioactive iodine - a non aggresive and target specific radiation treatment. No chemo or aggresive rad is currently indicated.

Hopefully, when all is said and done, it should be near Christmas. I am counting on a Xmas that is free and clear!!!!!!




In terms of my coping...it sucks. Been really stressed and nervous. I don't handle numbers very well. And, I think i have made too many big changes at once - particularly for sleep.

I used to sleep at 4 am or so and get about 4-5 hours. I radically shifted to going to bed around 12-1 am and trying to get 7-8 hours. Trying, is the operative word. Geez - I am so slotted into a pattern! I can fall asleep but staying asleep? Yeah right!

And, because of some possible evidence that cannabis can slightly (but observably) affect T-lymph activity, I basically went off of what was my sleep med several days ago. And my sleep has suffered since then.

Also, as always when I have tried to radically change my sleep schedule in th past, I went through several days of vertigo. This always happens and is often why I fall back to late nights. Late nights don't leave me rested but usually makes the vertigo go away. I think it is related to my brain chemistry because there are no other real observable causes right now.

But, I am going to plow through and fight to have my brain realign this time. Its been a long time since I had good sleep and now is a chance to get my clock readjusted. Vertigo is almost gone now. Now, just to focus on getting better sleep. I refuse to take stuff like Ambien and Lunesta. Brain chem drugs usually leave me feeling like absolute shite. My cousins who have tried it have not had a good time so I am going to lay off for now.

For now, realizing that 1)shifting sleep schedule radically, 2) sudden cease of my sleep meds (cannabis) and 3) having a major stressor might be too much to deal with at once. So, I have concluded that crappy sleep is likely as hard if not harder on my immune as moderate cannabis use so I will slowly decrease my dosing of cannabis until I have acclimated. And, it really helps with the anxiety at night.

Also went veggie to help boost immune and lost 10 pounds. Not a bad fringe benefit. Probably mainly water for now because it summed up to less fat and salt by default. But, I am not complaining.


Had some really good advice and care from friends last few days so I have really begun to take it better in stride. Sleep last night was definitely better than the night before.

I really can't f-cking wait until this sh-t is all over. The unknown - the uncontrollable - just drives me nuts. I realized that I am a control freak in some serious ways. Not over people but in terms of situations. Its why I am claustrophobic and prone to anxiety and depression. If anything, this experience is helping me mature and realize more about who I am.

For that, I am thankful.

I thank you all for your support. And I will keep you all posted. As long as Tribe doesn't take a dump. Also thinking about recreating this on Ning in case Tribe does blow. What I might do is create an empty community, and if Tribe does get ready to blow, I will give everyone a link. If Tribe suddenly implodes and is gone in a day like I thought it had done several days ago, here is my email - file and it and contact me if Tribe goes supernova on us.

scombridae1969@hotmail.com

Thanks, everyone!
MC